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Parents Guide

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Your parents probably sat you down to read this webpage, and you probably think it's lame, boring,
or stupid. You probably feel like you know all this stuff, like you're too old for this, and that they're
just being paranoid. However, paying attention to this page could one day help you avoid an
abduction, or even save your life--or someone else's. You're in the prime age group for internet
grooming. You're rebellious by nature (Right there, did you just contradict that statement?),
discovering things about yourself, and developing mentally and physically. I know you'll hate to
hear this, but this means you're vulnerable. A child groomer will play to your insecurities and your rebellious nature and lure you out of the safety of your home.

Once you've been lured out of your home, you're almost completely at the mercy of a child groomer. Normally they're bigger, stronger, older, and more prepared. Kylie Taylor, a young woman of about
your age went to meet a man she had talked to online for a YEAR at a very public convenience
store. He managed to get her out of the store and into his car, where she was drugged, imprisoned
and raped repeatedly over a period of two weeks. Her terribly sad story depicts quite vividly what can happen when you give out your contact information over the internet. Think that case is an
exception? Sadly, it's not. There's Christina Tedder, who was abducted on December 24th, 2004--
the day before Christmas--and was murdered that night. Walter Kevin Cross, missing since June 9th
of 1998. Leanna Dale Cook, missing since May 22, 1999. Jessica Soung Hee Darbro, missing since September 04, 2002. Deann Gallegos, missing since February 20, 2003. Tabitha Tudors, missing since
April 29, 2003. Jarred Moore, missing since May 28, 2003. The list goes on and on and on. This is a
very real danger, and a very real problem.

A lot of times, these men (and they're almost always men--or men pretending to be females) can seem
like your best friend on Earth. They know you implicitly, and they're always there to give you advice
and help you out when you need it. They don't seem like bad guys--in fact, they may seem to be the
only person who cares about you. However, they really only care about one thing--getting you out
of the house, or getting in your house when you’re the only one there. If a guy continually insists
that he meet you, odds are he's up to no good. Remember, too, people lie on the internet. He could
say he's 15, or 16, or 18 . . . and really be 25, or 35, or 45. There's nothing to stop him, since you would have no way of knowing the difference by his typing alone or even a 'fake' pic. You should never,
ever give out contact information over the internet to anyone. These people try to butter you
up--just like a teacher's pet would in class. There are many ways these perverts will try to get you
out of the house. Here are a few:

-They'll call you by nicknames like "pumpkin , hun, sweetie or honey" in order to make you feel as though you've got a bond with them. If an older man is calling you names like that often, there is probably something wrong.

-If a person is complimenting you a lot, you should probably get suspicious about that, too, especially
if they are complimenting you over little things normal people wouldn't normally compliment, or
if the way you are complimented seems forced and obligatory.

-Asking a lot of questions about your home situation, like how many brothers and sisters you have,
when do you parents work, and even asking for your address to 'mapquest' is a warning sign, too.
If he thinks there's no one there to keep an eye on you, he may keep pushing you to tell him where
you live, or to come somewhere and meet him.

-Asking for your phone number is also a danger sign. He can reverse lookup your number and
possibly get your home address. Cell phones are harder to trace but they CAN be traced to your
home.

If someone exhibits more than one or two of the aforementioned traits or shows you sexually explicit chat or pictures, stop talking to them--and if they ask for your address or phone number or real name, you should stop talking to them immediately.

Here's another thing to think about--your friend comes to you and says that she's met this awesome
guy, who totally understands her, and who has everything in common with her. You ask a few
questions about the guy--where'd she meet him? What's his name? How old is he? You don't get
answers, or if you do, she adds that he told her not to tell anyone. If the phrase "don't tell anyone" ever comes up in a conversation of that nature, there is something very, very wrong. You have
to be aware of these dangers, not only for yourself, but for your friends, some of whom might not
be as internet savvy as you.

You may not like to hear this, but your first line of defense against these perverts is *gasp* your
parents. It might not seem like it, but they genuinely care about you. You don't have to tell them
what you talk about, but tell your parents who you are talking to. Don't hide things from them--that almost always leads to problems. You may have screwed up and told something you shouldn't have,
but your parents can help you solve your problems as long as you don't shut them out. They might
be angry at you, sure, but their anger is a sign they still care. If you go to your parents as early as
possible, and tell them regularly what is going on in your life, they will trust you more and be
better able to help you avoid situations like Kylie Taylor's.

Your parents may want to get involved in your life. It is crucial that you allow them to. They might
ask you questions or say things to you that you think are lame, or are none of their business, but
they only have your best interests at heart. If something's happened, and you don't feel you can talk
to them, tell a teacher or counselor at school, or some other trusted adult that your parents would approve of. Don't try to be a hero and solve all of your problems yourself--you're not weak if you
ask for help. Asking for help with these sorts of problems is the smartest thing you can do. You
probably think you're a great judge of character. However, on the internet it's not like anywhere else. Adults have made the wrong decision, trusted the wrong guy, and have paid the price as well, as you probably have heard from countless news reports on adults raped and even killed by people they met online. No one is saying "Hey, you're a teen, you don't know anything." just that
online . . . nobody "knows" anything.

Here's some cool links for you to check out!

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Online dictionaries

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Attention Teens of all ages! If you know of a cool site that is 'safe' send me the URL by clicking on the Pelican below. I'll check it and if it's safe, I'll add it onto this page! Thanks for your help!